Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

The NaNoWriMo Checklist by Leif G.S. Notae


Pen at the ready. And... GO! (Annastan)

Congratulations! You’ve decided to take on the challenge of NaNoWriMo, good for you! Right now, you’re probably either deciding which outline to use or you forgot that you agreed to participate in NaNo and are now running around the room flipping furniture over to find a pen and some paper.

If you’re in the latter category, go ahead and take care of that first. I can wait.

All better? Good. I am here today to offer you a point of view that worked for me for generating ideas and what goals I set for myself that you could use over November’s long stretch. I offer the disclaimer that my results are not typical and you may not see the same results doing anything I am about to offer.

Your goals should be:

·         1. Finish with more than the average word count a day (1667 words)
o   This gives you a sense of accomplishment and will also shave days off your projected finish date.
o   You will feel better when you take a break from it knowing you did more
o   The opposite sex adores an overachiever*
·        2.  Write in the morning and at night, at least 1000 words for each
o   Musashi said it best, “Any man who wants to master the essence of my strategy must research diligently, training morning and evening. Thus can he polish his skill, become free from self, and realize extraordinary ability. He will come to possess miraculous power.”**
o   Do you really want to argue with a man who wielded two katana? No.
·        3.  Take a break, use a timer
o   Not only will a timer give you a reference on your patterns and behavior, but you can use the timer intervals to reward yourself.
o   In three hours I can write 2000 words with five minute breaks between segments, which means 500 words in 25 minutes. Use a mental rabbit to keep pace. See if you can do more.
o   Use your five minute breaks to move. Stretch. Walk. Pace. Do not stay at your computer.
·       4. Take a break, stop Tweeting/Facebooking/YouTubing
o   Yes, unless you have mastered the skill of “wording” well, you will fall behind with distractions. Use social media as a reward as well. Tell us about your word count after you have finished your goal for the morning or the day.
5. Idea Generation should be:
·         Listen to your characters
o   I have no idea generation tips that override this one. I could say read newspapers, cuddle a puppy, eat chocolate ice cream until you puke, whatever. You have a character speaking to you in your head. They want to tell you their story. Let them. Sure, you might seem crazy, but writing is crazy and it’s filled with crazies like me. Some of us even give you sparkly balloons and pre-licked churros for your efforts.***

With these steps in mind along with your soul and body centered, you will carve your way past this obstacle and make everyone proud you took the NaNo challenge. Remember, even if you don’t complete the 50,000 words, you made the attempt and it will propel you to better things later in your writing life.


*- The opposite sex does not always appreciate an overachiever.
**- Quote provided by MiyamotoMusashi.com. If you’ve never read the Book of Five Rings and you are a writer, do so now. Translate the fighting techniques to writing techniques. It will make sense.
***- The pre-licked churros are a myth. This was a clandestine, black budget, covert-ops shout out to a fellow writer. The sparkly balloons are not a myth. Told you we are crazy.


Do YOU have a checklist for November? What helps you go through the madness?



Leif G.S. Notae (also known as LeiffyV and @Vignirsson) is a hobby writer of short stories, flash and micro fiction along with dark poetry.  He has self-published three novelette ebooks, "Wasteland Ghost",”Lost Hope” and “The Wicked Cat: Voyage (First Arc)” all in September 2011. He was published in Six Minute Magazine under his real name as well as local magazines and newspapers in the Santa Cruz area.  He maintains daily entries in his blog while working with green technology in the county.

Tuesday, 11 October 2011

Case Study: Amber West Talking to Herself (AGAIN)


(source: lost in the recesses of patient's brain)


So, a few months ago, I took the plunge and signed up for NaNoWriMo –

Wait, what?  You signed up for what?

NaNoWriMo.

Is that some sort of experimental medication?  I mean, we could use the money.  And the side effects might be fun…

No, no, NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month.  In November, thousands of people commit to writing 50,000 words in 30 days.  In the matter of a month, you have a completed first draft or you are at least well on your way with one.

50,000 words.  Seriously?  Are you sure you didn’t already start taking some experimental meds?

C’mon, it’s not that bad.

Alright, obviously, we are going to have to sit down and discuss the finer points of math again.  You write maybe 5 days a week.  In a good week.  So, 50,000 words divided by 5 days is 10,000 words, divided by 4 weeks is *counts on fingers* 2500 words.  Monday through Friday.  Every weekday.

Ummm.  *consults calculator* Yes.  That seems right.

You committed us to that many words without even consulting me?

You are me.  I assumed we would be on the same page.

Apparently, a page with 2500 words on it.

Don’t be such a baby.  And it’s actually 2272 words a day.  November has 22 weekdays in it.  Not 20.  And if I did write on the weekends, it’s only 1667 words.  Give or take a word. 

I’m not writing on the weekend.

Fine.  2272.  We’ll round up and say 2300.  It’s totally doable.  That’s only like 7 dialogue heavy pages.  Less for descriptive narrative stuff.

You’ve obviously already made your decision.  That’s going to be 50,000 worthless words.  You can’t possibly expect to practically write a publishable novel in a month.

I don’t expect that.  I expect to flush out a story.  I expect to get into the groove of writing a substantial amount of words every day.  In the process, I do expect to write some killer scenes that could become a book later.  By the way, The Night Circus was a NaNoWriMo project.  Now it’s a New York Times Best Seller.

Keep dreaming.

I’m not saying that will be me.  Just saying that it can be done.

2272 words a day might sound ok when you aren’t spending two hours staring blankly at the wall trying to come up with a story idea.  Bet you didn’t factor that in, Smarty McSmarterson.

I did, actually.  I already have a story idea.  Remember that one dream with the nuns –

Oh! Oh! That was like a movie!  You’re writing that??

Yup.

When do we start?!

Uh, November.

But I want to write it now!

Well, we can do some research now.  We could even outline or plot a little.

*raises eyebrow* Do you even know me?  I’m a pantser.  Strike that.  I’m not even that.  I’m pantsless.  I will not be fenced in by stacks of paper filled with charts and notes and Venn diagrams  --

Venn diagrams?  Why would I be making those?

I dunno.  I don’t plot.  Seems like something plotters do.

Look, think of it as…an adventure.  We are trying something new and exciting.

Plotting is exciting?

Maybe.

It does get us closer to writing that story.

Yes it does.

And 2300 words a day really doesn’t seem that bad.

Nope.  We’ve done more.

True.  That’s ‘cause I’m awesome.

You’re awesome?  Don’t you mean we’re awesome?

Meh, six of one…

So you’re on board then?

Uh, yeah.  It was totally my idea in the first place.

Yikes.

WRIMOS FTW!  DRATW!  I’M TOTALLY GOING TO PWN NANO!

Oh no.  Caps lock and acronyms.  It’s going to be a long November.

*

Notes by site-owner/psychoanalyst-wannabe: You see kids, when you examine the two handwriting styles, you'll see that not only is the color different, but also the print and attitude. It's a typical case of Dissociative Writing Identity Disorder (DWID), where the Writer's *muse/inner critic* as it were has taken over a facet of their personality. As the *switching* between alter personalities is rapid, we have to concentrate hard on the exchange so as not to miss anything. Most importantly... there will be a test on this!!! *glares* 

Oh and... Happy NaNoWriMo Relaunch Day, WRIMO'S! </Lyn out.>



Amber (Medina) West is currently Director of Dog, Toddler, and General Household duties.  After an abrupt end to her last paying job, she finds herself knee deep in showtunes, first drafts and poop.  Not literally, of course.  She is currently in the midst of making the fifth grade version of her very proud by being a writer.  You can find her here at A Day Without Sushi waxing quixotic about everything and nothing.